A policeman pulled Christina over after he'd been driving the wrong
way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Christina: No, but whatever it is, it must be bad since everyone's leaving.
(NOTE: THIS IS TRUE. IN REAL LIFE, LI'L CHRISSY DOESN'T HAVE A LICENSE)
Britney, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to
the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for
her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" Britney said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the
paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife,
inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she
realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, Brit came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," Britney answered, "and I had
paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his
pocket for the $50. "And by the way," she added, "that's not a Porch,
it's a Ferrari."
Why did God give teenyboppers 2% more brains than horses?
Because he didn't want them pooping in the streets during parades
Britney and Christina observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Britney: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Christina: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
to rain and the top is down!
Christina is eating a bowl of Cherrios when suddenly she stares at it in amazement.
"Carson, look, doughnut seeds!"
Britney walks into a department store to buy a TV.
"I'd like to buy this television." she says
the saleswoman, without looking at her, says "Sorry, we don't serve popstars."
Brit comes back an hour later in a disguise, "I'd like this TV." she says referring to the same item.
"Sorry, we don't serve popstars." the same saleswoman says with her back turned.
Angry, Britney screams at the her, "That's not fair! I asked nicely for this TV. *sobbing* Why are you being so rude?"
the saleswoman replies, "Hon, the TV you're trying to buy is a microwave!"
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